Have you ever seen a mass of people wearing something, and you just don’t get it? How, why, it doesn’t matter; what matters is that we connect over a shared cup of hate. Just kidding, no shaming here – people can wear what they want as long as it’s ethically produced.
Here’s my list of some ugly-as-can-be choices people wear anyway.
1. Ugg Boots With Mini Skirts
Ugg boots have often been associated with winter or cold-weather fashion. However, some fashion enthusiasts have attempted to incorporate them into their warm-weather wardrobes. The combination of Ugg boots with mini skirts creates a style dissonance. This combination may not be the most flattering, to say at least.
2. Ballerina Flats
In my opinion, ballerinas are lovely and elegant – in a ballet studio, and should be left there!
Ballerinas in public scream, “I’ve got no personal style developed,” which is not the most horrible thing – if you like to wear them, wear the hell out of them. It’s just that they are blah, ugly (not in a good way), and highly uncomfortable due to that no-soles part. Shoes need soles. Anything below 3cm doesn’t count (and it adds a few cm to your height).
3. Bijouterie
Bijouterie is a term for cheap jewelry in some countries. You know the green marks H&M jewelry leaves on your earlobes or fingers… Yeah, we are talking about those. At least after your teen years, one should outgrow “decorating” oneself with those things.
4. Bandeau Stretch Top
You wear something that cuts you just in the wrong place, making your body and fashion silhouette look weird. Great, if you’re into that thing, just don’t style it with a denim jacket.
5. Flip Flops
How uncomfortable is it to wear something right between your fingers? It’s even more annoying if you’re bitten by a mosquito just in the right place, where the friction happens.
6. Square-Toe Sandals
Sigh. It’s not because these sandals are ugly – I could go with that ugly charm, being a heated, ungodly-looking shoe fan myself. It’s because they are fugly and popular. And when your average Instagrammer, who has no fashion background, gets them from one of those notoriously unethical labels that shouldn’t exist in the first place – you know what time it is. A time to shut down the internet, roll up the cables.
7. Beaded Purse
I just put this one for the sake of hating something. Yeah, it looks cheap, even if you bought it from Cult Gaia. Things that look just trendy, lacking character or potential to be worn more than once, shouldn’t be bought into so easily.
8. Acrylic Nails
I’ve seen a few of the good ones, maybe like one in a million. That cheap-looking gloss screams artificial, and the worst – it’s bad for your nails. Complement it with fake lashes and lips, and you just become a circus freak (no offense, circus freaks). Better no nails until a gentler solution to your keratin plates appears.
9. Cargo Pants with Excessive Pockets
Cargo pants were originally designed for utilitarian purposes. Later cargo pants have found their way into mainstream fashion over the years. While the pockets on cargo pants can be quite functional, wearing a pair with an excessive number of pockets can lead to a style that appears overly bulky and unflattering.
10. Birkenstock Sliders
I don’t understand the craze for these. They don’t look good, and they aren’t as comfortable as they want them to be. Recently, we saw them in an equally easily forgettable Barbie movie as a cliché choice for a practical woman. A woman who puts comfort in front of glam and gets her own things together. But honestly, there are better choices with that intentionally “ugly” but incredibly well-done feel.
11. Jean Shorts
Eeew. Maybe it’s just me, but the idea that something cuts into my belt and groin area each time I try to sit down isn’t my cup of anything. It’s also a painfully bland choice for people who think it’s just a summer version of jeans. No matter your age or how long your legs are, I’ve never seen them look good on anyone. There are plenty of great-looking shorts, but better not denim ones.
What’s More?
Should I also put a Deliveroo-looking backpack on the list? How about a polyester basket bag? Knee-length chinos? I guess not yet (except for the chinos). It would be interesting to see what’s on other people’s lists. For example, like many other dads, my dad would probably add ripped jeans.
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