The birth of a child is a joyful yet very transformative stage of life. Becoming a parent can certainly be stressful, especially for first-time parents. Parenthood introduces a lot of challenges that can put a strain on a couple’s relationship.
As parents adjust to the baby’s demands and needs, they usually find themselves with little or no joy for each other. Add hormonal changes for mom and dad, sleep deprivation, and jiggling all the small things around the baby, and you get a recipe for disaster.
Many couples experience declining relationship satisfaction even a few years after having a baby.
Staying connected as partners might be the most important thing while having a newborn. Supporting each other and finding time during the day to be alone is also crucial. These tips will keep strong relationships and help build even stronger ones after giving birth.
Do Daily Checks-in
All these new tasks around the baby can interfere with basic communication. Many couples start feeling disconnected due to a lack of talk. Set aside time and sit with your partner to discuss important matters or simply talk about your day. Checking in with each other daily is great for supporting one another in a meaningful way.
Have Clear and Open Communication
Right after giving birth, many parents feel vulnerable and lose their old selves. It is essential to be honest with your partner during this time and not be afraid to discuss your fears, emotions, and expectations. Both parents should express their needs and concerns without fear of judgment.
Spoil Each Other
‘Spoiling’ your baby with all the love and tenderness is crucial, but did you know you need to treat your partner the same way? Buying gifts and surprising each other will keep the sparks between the partners alive. Things like this will keep you falling in love again.
Listen and Support Each Other
With a newborn in your hands, you and your partner are now busier than ever. Telling your partner what is bothering you or what you are feeling at the moment is great for keeping the relationship strong. For instance, if you are overwhelmed with a baby constantly waking up, ask your partner to step in so you can sleep an hour or two during the day. Even if you snap at each other, try taking a big breath and find a way back. Apologize when you mean it. Have each other’s back.
Ask for Support, and You Will Get It
The saying “it takes a village” to raise a child is true, and it is good to ask for help when you need it. Whether it is your partner or someone from your family or friends group that you can rely on, asking for help will only do good to your mental health and your relationship. Asking for help can also create a space for you and your partner to spend together. Will you drink a cup of coffee or see a movie – it is up to you.
Share the Load
Work as a team while raising a child. Women feel more declines in relationship satisfaction when all household and child-related work falls on them. Ensure that each person is contributing and make it a good teamwork. If a mom is a morning person, taking a baby and let partner sleep in might be a good idea. However, the dad can also help with household work, fill in the washing machine, or swipe the counters in the kitchen. It promotes a healthy sense of equality and strong partnership.
Date Nights Are Okay
The demands of parenting leave many partners without energy for each other. Carving out time for each other is precious and essential to protect the relationship. With a newborn constantly by your side, finding some time for the partners to be alone is hard. However, when the baby is a bit older, you can hire a nanny or leave the baby with a family member. Use that time to enjoy without distractions – go on a date night, do something you love, or simply go for a walk.
Cook Together
When striving for romantic moments, partners can cook together. When you are both in the kitchen, you can use that time to talk, laugh, and rediscover your chemistry with each other. Don’t forget to turn on some music, and while baby sleeps or chills in the crib, make dinner together.
Accept Your Differences
When two people are together, it doesn’t mean they will parent in exactly the same way. It’s not a bad thing. On the contrary, it can be beneficial for the child. However, not being on the same page can lead to an argument. Discussing some bigger issues before the baby is born and revisiting them when necessary is helpful. When you know each other’s values and views, you can have a meaningful discussion about raising a baby.
Self-Care Is Crucial
Caring for a newborn can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It often leaves little or no room for self-care. Moreover, maintaining one’s mental health is good for a relationship in general. Partners should encourage each other to take a break and do something they love without distractions.
Prioritize Physical Intimacy
The post-baby period has intense psychological and physiological changes, especially for mothers. Most of them start feeling strange about their own body, and breastfeeding can create an additional demand. In combination with a lack of sleep, it all creates negative effects. However, it is vital to preserve some form of physical intimacy. Hugging or kissing can also help a lot.
Shower Together
One of the ways you can preserve physical intimacy is by showering together. It fosters a sense of closeness while it is also sensual and relaxing. A long-lasting shower can relieve stress and connect you and your partner.
Care for Your Baby Together
A lot of couples take turns caring for their newborn. However, when possible, try to care for your baby together. That time you spend bathing or simply cuddling is important for the baby and you as a couple.
Prioritize Sleep
Having a newborn baby means you will sleep less. This can lead partners to feel nervous, tired, and even depressed. Prioritize sleep and expect that to be an everyday thing. Instead of scrolling your feeds, sleep whenever you have a chance, even in the first month after having a baby.
Counseling Can Help Too
There is no shame in seeking professional help. Counseling or couple therapy can help you when you feel stuck. It can be a safe place for partners to express their feelings, worries, and unresolved issues. A therapist can offer guidance that can help save your relationship.
Laugh and Laugh Even More
When it seems like everything is falling apart, don’t forget to laugh. Remember, this is just a phase, and it will pass sooner than you think. Looking at it positively can help you maintain a strong relationship with your partner and your mental health.
Discuss Your Finances
Unexpected changes regarding finances can occur when you have a baby. It is a good idea to be aware of that, have a plan for the future, and discuss finances with your partner and how you will handle it after the baby is born.
Bring Baby Into Your Plans
Keeping a strong relationship with each other doesn’t mean you need to run away from your child. There are many things you can do as a family, including romance. Just imagine walking along the banks of a river at sunset while your little one sleeps in a stroller.
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